the lawyer's truth is not truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency

[banethebest]

There are many things that I love about Darrow. It is a city that I can fully take advantage of. A city where knowing the right people helps you stay on top of the game and out of trouble. A city where the opportunities are great if you play your cards right — and playing my cards right is practically part of my name. The life that I have built for myself is comfortable, but also leaves room for growth. I am one of the most successful lawyers in Darrow.

But the more lawsuits, the more clients, the higher still I can climb.

Of course, being a good lawyer means that you have to know everything that's happening in the city. I have an assistant for this very reason. Every morning, she tells me the biggest news that's taking place around the city, the source that she heard the story from, and how reliable it is. She has helped me avoid many New Year's nightmares; unlike many of my colleagues, I haven't been traumatized by the sight of bees. She has also helped me keep aware of the criminal activities and celebrity scandals that make for the most lucrative jobs. She is the best, I don't know why she doesn't ask me to pay her more.

This morning, she told me an interesting story. One that was enough for me to call the day off work and return right home to my beloved husband. Magnus is not necessarily the best person for me to bounce ideas off of — actually it's very hard to brainstorm with him because he just goes along with everything I want — but he is the person I am most worried about with what my assistant has told me.

"Magnus?" I call out as I step inside our apartment, knocking belatedly on the door. "Are you home?"

(I know that he is. We have our locations constantly shared on our phones. It has come in handy more than once.)

Comments

[mundanebane]

Magnus was one of those rare birds that liked being at the office. Surrounded by drab walls and numbers, he felt comfortable and grounded. Accounting made sense, the equations always had a concrete answer, the numbers didn't lie. Sometimes he got to juggle them, balance an account to look better or worse than it was, but that was fun too because the numbers were still consistent. Hiding behind stacks of paper (which he refused to part with even though the rest of the office seemed to be on a paperless kick), he could manage everything.

His real life was entirely different.

He didn't mind giving up most of the control to his wife. Frankly, he had been happy to arrive in the city to find his Jessica there, already tenaciously climbing her way to the top. That, too, was comforting. He helped shoulder the burden of running their own business, but she didn't waste time dithering over decisions.

Still, sometimes he wished it were a little different. He wished, for example, that when he walked out into the living room to answer her call, bare chested with only his suit pants on, hair still damp from his post-gym shower, would elicit more than a blink from her. Or that, if it did, he would have the confidence to make something of that.

Never going to happen.

"Right here," he called back. He combed his fingers through his hair, slicking it back so it wouldn't fall into his eyes. He needed a hair cut. "Is something wrong?"

She knew he would be in the office soon. He kept to his schedule religiously. It had to be something important to get her out of the office.

[banethebest]

I married well. I don't mean it in the way that Americans seem to qualify marriages — that it has to be romantic, that you have to be heads over heels in love with the other person, that it's considered noble if you want to marry someone in spite of the uncertainties. I mean it in the way that one should practically evaluate marriage. My husband is intelligent, handsome, well-mannered, and most importantly, he listens to me. We have a system that works incredibly well, because our personalities are complementary. I'm in charge, and he keeps the ship sailing steadily.

I am very grateful that my parents helped introduce me to this man.

"Yes, something is wrong," I tell him, tone matter-of-fact. For some reason, he walks out shirtless, his hair still wet. "Put on some clothes and let me dry your hair, you'll catch a cold if you leave it damp." I make my way over to Magnus and wrap my hand around the crook of his elbow, leading him back into the bathroom, where I quickly pull the hair dryer out of the drawer and plug it in to help him get ready.

Sure, he could do it on his own, but it'll be faster this way.

"I got some very interesting news from my assistant. Seems that there is some kind of breach that opened in the middle of the city. It's not an exit that would lead back to D.C., unfortunately, but it does lead into another version of Darrow." I lean to the side, meeting Magnus' eyes in the mirror. "I don't trust it."

[mundanebane]

Magnus rolled his eyes, but obediently allowed himself to be guided back to the bathroom so that Jessica could have her way. The science didn't support the statement; wet hair did not lead to exposure to a virus. But there was no reason to argue the point when there were, apparently, more important things that needed to be dealt with. Besides, Jessica was better at this kind of thing.

An undershirt was ready and waiting for him in the bathroom. He'd intended to put it on immediately after shaving and did so now, before dropping the toilet seat cover and seating himself. She'd never be able to reach his head otherwise.

"A breach?" he echoed, frowning. "Melissa told you this?" Her assistant was a gossip in Magnus' mind, but that's what Jessica seemed to like about her. Even so, she wasn't prone to flights of fantasy or jumping to wild conclusions. The information was solid if it came from her.

"What kind of other dimension?" He would have loved to hear there was an escape of some kind, but an alternate dimension? That definitely sounded like trouble, something wrong. "Do we know what's coming in?"

[banethebest]

Styling hair is a much more important part of life in Darrow than it ever was in D.C. I have always cared about making sure that my hair looks presentable and professional, but in D.C. all that meant was making sure that I blow-dried and used a little bit of spray if it was too frizzy. Here, people spend a lot of time on their hair. Almost all the women I work with use pincurls overnight, and they spend so much time brushing their hair into nice waves in the morning. it's unfortunate that nobody here respects the success perm.

For men, hairstyles involve lots of product and very precise comb-overs. I am fantastic at them because of the fact that I practice so much with Magnus.

But first, blowdry until barely damp. I make sure to point the drier away from his face so that it does not burn his skin.

"Yes. First thing in the morning, she gave me the details," I tell him. I watch his expression in the mirror. I know what we're both probably thinking — if only it led home. "It apparently leads to another version of Darrow. Same landscape, mostly the same streets too. But reports say that the fashion there is very different, and technology is not as advanced as here. It's kind of creepy, don't you think?"

[mundanebane]

His face wrinkled deeply with displeasure. "Another Darrow?" he grumped. Why would anyone want that? Darrow -- their Darrow, Magnus supposed he should start calling it -- was fine. It wasn't home. Magnus hated it because it wasn't home. It offered some relief from their nosy (but loving) parents, but it wasn't their home. It wasn't their D.C., it wasn't their firm. They were only building things here that would be abandoned whenever they finally got home. If they got home.

But another Darrow? What was the point?

"That's not kind of creepy, it's definitively creepy," he countered. "Is there anyone there? Or is it a ghost town?"

Lord, he hated horror movies. He prayed this would not become a horror movie.

[banethebest]

Magnus makes a face when I tell him the news. Good, that means we are on the same page on this subject. I find that when Magnus and I are on the same page about something, my confidence in it grows. Our opinions are often different and in many ways that makes us stronger together — but it's always easiest when we don't have to work to come to an agreement. I sigh as I work on combing his hair, on getting that swoop and curve just right.

(He really is a handsome man, I'm telling you. It's worth making sure he looks polished, too.)

"That is the even worse part. It's full of people. So far, Melissa says that the people in the other Darrow are the same kind of people that you find here, it's not all zombies and ghosts," I explain. "But she also said that some of the people there are like... alternate versions of us. Not everyone has a copy there but many people do. Like creepy old man Sargeant who lives across from the firm? There's another one in the other Darrow. And still making comments about what every woman is wearing as he walks by."

[mundanebane]

He stayed still as Jessica worked on his hair. Practice had made her perfect at it and Magnus appreciated looking sharp without having to put the effort into it himself. He was sure he'd make a mess of it.

His nose wrinkled even further as Jessica continued. This was sounding worse and worse and frankly less and less like something he wanted to deal with. Magnus wasn't big on confrontation; he avoided it, to the best of his ability. The idea of running into himself or another Jessica, or any of the people he knew in this Darrow filled him with dread. What would he be like? What would she be like? (Was there another Alec Lightwood, he wondered idly.) He was comfortable in his own little niche in the world and he didn't want that disturbed anymore than Darrow did in and of itself.

"So what are we going to do?" he asked expectantly. Jessica was perfectly visible in the reflection of the mirror, but he tilted his gaze up to her beside him. (Not his head though. He was careful not to move his head while Jessica was styling.)

She had to have a plan. She always did. If he didn't like some aspect of it, he'd say so, diplomatically. But Jessica With A Plan was another comfortable thing he relied on to soothe his nerves when things got sticky.

[banethebest]

Magnus is expecting me to have an answer. And why shouldn't he? I'm the one who makes more of the decisions in this relationship, and there's no reason for this time to be an exception. The problem is that this is a different challenge than any we have faced before. It's a very strange choice, the sort of thing I would have laughed at if someone asked me the hypothetical question, because in what crazy world would something like that even be possible?

But apparently, it's possible here. It's always possible in Darrow.

I pat his shoulders when I'm done so that he can relax. (I'm always very grateful that he stays still for the styling, but I imagine it's part of why his muscles are always so stiff.)

"Well... I don't see a need for us to go through the breach, really. We definitely shouldn't be in the first group that goes over, that just feels foolish and risky," I say, frowning and raising my hand to my chin in thought. "But it could be worth finding out if anyone we know is on the other side. Who knows, maybe our parents are there. So maybe we ask around our friends, see if any of them are making the leap over by choice. Ask them to keep an eye out for people we know."

[mundanebane]

As if on cue, Magnus lifted a hand to rub at the tense muscles in his shoulder, just under where Jessica's hand had been. He knew he tensed up too much under stress; it wasn't good for his health. (He was fine. He was healthy. His doctor said he would probably live to one hundred. But being so tensed and stressed was one of those things all healthy people should avoid, like smoking and drinking too much.)

He nodded at Jessica's reasoning, agreeing. There was no reason for them to be the explorers, putting their necks on the line just for the supposed glory of being the first to do something. So stupid. Why be the first when you could learn from other people's mistakes and be the best?

"You really think there's a chance?" Magnus asked, glancing up now at Jessica's reflection in the mirror. "The odds have got to be against it. The odds were against us both arriving here in the first place." Not that he wouldn't want their parents around, or any member of their family. It just seemed painfully unlikely.

[banethebest]

Magnus is a man who very much trusts his science. Probability. Facts. And I have a very healthy respect for that because it means that most of the time, he's right, and he makes the right choices for our household. But I am also a superstitious woman. Sometimes things happen for reasons that you can't explain using science or any other facts we know. And maybe superstition is not as reliable as science — but Chinese people have been relying on superstition for thousands of years, and we are one of the most successful people in the world.

That can't be coincidence.

"Yes, of course I believe there's a chance. And yes, the odds are against it. But like you said... the odds were against us both arriving, and yet we did." I lean down so that our eyes are level and reach for his hands, give them a squeeze. "That means something. To me, it means our marriage is even stronger than I thought on the day I accepted your proposal. And maybe fate will choose to honor our marriage even more by bringing our families here."

I stand up and shrug. "Or maybe they aren't there, which... actually, I would also be fine if they are not on the other side. I am not sure that my mother would like leaving Washington D.C. — but I do know that I will be in big trouble if our families are there and I didn't bother to look."

[mundanebane]

There were times -- exceedingly rare times, but times nonetheless -- when Magnus wondered if they had made the right choice. He wondered if marriage should be more like in the movies and on television, should be more passion and fights and sex, more flowers and lovesick looks and stolen kisses. There were times when he looked at his wife and wondered if there shouldn't be more.

But then there were times like these. Looking into Jessica's eyes, the surety of her words gave him strength. What did movies and television know? That wasn't real life. That wasn't real. This was real. The day in and day out of life. Having someone so close to him who respected him and believed in their marriage. What good were flowers and date nights? What did they prove?

He let her hands go as she stood and grunted at her words. "My mother would come through the breach just to whack me with a cooking spoon," Magnus grumbled. "So we wait and see and keep our eyes and ears open. Sounds like a plan."

[banethebest]

"She would come through the breach to whack you with her spoon," I agree, and I can't help but chuckle when imagining it. "This is one of the many reasons why I love your mother. I think we have some important things in common."

Sometimes I think that it is a very good thing for men to have mothers who are in control, mothers who are not afraid to take charge. It means that these men will definitely respect women as they grow up. I know that Magnus will definitely trust my opinion when I have a strong one. This is why I am completely trusting that he will not go into this other Darrow, now that I've told him it'd be foolish to do so before knowing that it's safe.

But now that I think about it, I can imagine someone who might go over right away. I frown.

"Do you think maybe some people we know are already there? We should try calling. Oh, I can already imagine Jennifer going, just to get a leg up on me," I mutter. Jennifer's my biggest rival here in Darrow. She isn't exactly by the books like I am — she's the kind who is willing to go very far to get her hands on a piece of evidence. "I should get back to Melissa too, make sure she doesn't go. She's such a gossip that she might without thinking."

[mundanebane]

Magnus raised an eyebrow, giving her a dry look. "Thankfully not cooking spoons and corporal punishment," he said. Not that his mother ever thwacked him hard with her cooking implements. And he had absolutely no reason to get his wife so annoyed with him that she would resort to such things. Magnus liked when Jessica was happy; he liked making her happy. A happy Jessica meant a happy Magnus and there was no reason not to keep it that way.

He frowned at the mention of Jennifer and people crossing over. As much as he disliked the rivalry his wife and that woman had become embroiled in, he couldn't put it past her to try something crazy like this. "I can't imagine what good it would do her," he said. "If she really wanted a leg up, she'd do the work she has here." That was Magnus' attitude on most things though and he knew others didn't always share it.

Sighing, he stood up and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Melissa would. Those, you know, warrior types might, but I don't know any of them." You could see them around the city, usually carrying guns or weapons, not like normal people who just wanted a cup of coffee without thinking of vampires lurking about.

"That, um." He cleared his throat and pushed his hands into the pockets of his slacks, to appear casual. "That Lightwood kid might. With his friends. He seems the type."

[banethebest]

"Oh, you know she doesn't hit hard enough to actually hurt," I tell him. At least, I hope that she's never hit enough to actually hurt. If she's anything like my mother, which I know she is, then the most you hit is really for the sake of startling your children. You don't want to use force to teach a lesson. You want them to know that they can never catch you off guard. "But you're right, when we have kids, I don't plan on using cooking spoons. They'll be intimidated enough by my words."

Sometimes I wish that we could talk more about having children. Or that I felt like Magnus wanted to. I mean, I think we would make beautiful children, but the timing's never quite right to be practical. But there are times when I daydream about Magnus deciding that he's had enough, picking me up and carrying me to the bedroom, and together we keep going until we have a baby in the womb.

But that day hasn't come yet, and we're still young enough... more or less. Someday.

"Anyway, Jennifer would totally go. Can you even imagine what people would do with another world? Store their money there to avoid paying taxes. Or do some illegal investing. She will have a much easier job finding those criminals if she knows where they would likely stash their goods," I explain, then look over my shoulder when Magnus mentions our party organizer. "Alec? You think he would? Send him a text, I want to know what he learns."

[mundanebane]

Magnus conceded the point about his mother without argument, as it was true. But it was difficult to play it cool when Jessica mentioned kids. Their kids, when they had kids. It felt like so much pressure, on Magnus specifically. Yes, Jessica would be the one carrying their children for nine months, but before they even got there they had to... get to the bedroom. That was Magnus' job and he constantly failed to make the move. It was just so hard to find the right moment, to find the confidence. Thinking about it only made it worse.

So he bypassed that portion of the conversation completely, letting his gaze fall down, fiddling with his hands and examining his nails until Jessica had moved off the subject.

"I hadn't even thought about it," Magnus admitted in a puzzled tone as he obediently fished his phone from his pocket. He wasn't devious-minded as a rule. He didn't see himself as particularly good; it simply never occurred to him to break the rules or that there was a way around them.

Phone out, Magnus fussed over the wording of his text, erasing his words and rewriting them a few times before finally shooting off a message.

[banethebest]

"That's because you're a good, law-abiding citizen. But many people aren't. Which I guess is sometimes a good thing, otherwise they wouldn't need people like me as much," I say with a shake of my head. You know, some people think it's terrible that there are lawyers like us who help people find loopholes around laws — even though that is only one small part of all the kinds of jobs I accept. But the way I see it, there are always going to be people who try to bend the rules or find some way to take advantage of the system. There's no way around it. At least when you have people pushing the limits of the law, you can actually discover what laws need to be fixed and revised.

And predictability of laws is important. You can't just lock people up for breaking the spirit of the law, then the laws all become subjective and pointless.

I pinch my nose and sigh.

"Okay, well... I probably shouldn't stay home for too long, I don't think they'll like 'worrying about the magical hole in the cemetery' as an excuse to stay out," I say, even though really, I call the shots around the office. Magnus and I both know this. I could take off if I wanted, but right now, I think I'm the most useful back in the office, now that I have made sure my husband knows of all this craziness. "But let me know as soon as Alec gets back to you, and I'll do the same with Melissa. Maybe we can talk more about it tonight?"

[mundanebane]

Magnus raised his brows and shrugged, conceding Jessica's point without saying a word. Her side of the business did partly rely upon people doing bad things with their money; his side of the business relied upon people simply being bad with their money. With some clients, he wondered just how people could be that stupid with money and numbers, but he couldn't complain.

A message from Alec popped up, but as it was only confirming his presence in the other Darrow, no real information, Magnus didn't mention it to Jessica yet. Instead he placed both his hands on her shoulders, briefly massaging the tense muscles there. She always carried so much. Magnus tried to shoulder some of the burden, but she was simply better at much of managing the office. He was better at assisting her.

"Did you want to cook tonight or should I order something so it's ready when we get home?"

[banethebest]

I'm not expecting Magnus' touch. I don't know why — he makes little gestures like these all the time, and they're very nice, thoughtful, and comfortable. But I guess I am just a very tense person, so my instinct is to freeze before I finally relax into the feeling of his hands.

Sometimes I don't think my husband believes that he's tough enough, but I will say this much: There aren't many people who can stay by my side without getting intimidated.

I smile and turn around, pulling him closer for a hug, careful not to mess up his hair. "Let's order out," I say. "I think both of us might be very busy at work today with everything that is happening. The least we can do is not overwork ourselves even more by having to cook and clean. I'll call you when I'm on the way home?"

[mundanebane]

While Jessica didn't expect the touch, Magnus expected her to tense a little bit more before she relaxed. She did not relax easily, even around him. Magnus did not take offense to it; it was simply the way she was. It had scared him a bit in the lead up to their wedding, how intense she became and how he couldn't seem to find the magic solution to calm her. But that was when he realized that it was her, not him, and if their marriage was going to work he would have to accept those quirks of hers and not be scared of them.

He returned the hug happily, squeezing her gently and briefly so as not to wrinkle her clothes. Pulling back, he dropped a quick, impulsive kiss on her cheek.

"That sounds like a great plan," Magnus said.

[banethebest]

The kiss to my cheek is another surprise. You know, I never doubt that Magnus loves me, but sometimes I feel like he's not very interested in me most of the time. Maybe it's because I'm always working and tired, or maybe it's because he's always working too. We don't have lots of time to be romantic, but that makes every action much more meaningful.

I smile up at Magnus, nodding in his direction.

"I hope I'm not going to be distracted all day," I say to him, just a little bit suggestive. I pat his chest lightly before turning around and grabbing my light jacket. It's probably going to be chilly once the sun starts to set. "I'm glad we talked about this, my heart feels much more at peace. Text me if you find out anything."

[mundanebane]

Magnus nodded slightly, unable to hide the small, sheepish grin that pulled at the corner of his mouth. Of course Jessica would be constantly thinking about the tear all day, what might be on the other side, what effect it might have on them living here in Darrow. The tone in her voice sounded like teasing, amused by how something might actually distract her.

The kiss wasn't bad, he assumed, just not necessarily wanted.

She moved to grab her jacket and move on, so Magnus shoved his hands in his pockets and started to leave the bathroom. He wanted to get dressed and move on himself, rather than kick himself for the kiss and what he should or shouldn't have done. "Of course. I'll let you know as soon as I hear. Have a good day."